Humility and Sincerity are Key

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (Romans 14:19 NIV)

Years ago, I was in a complicated and unpleasant work situation with one of my coworkers. Things didn’t improve, and I was relieved when he eventually moved on. Some time later, I received a short email from him with two simple words: “I apologize.”

That’s good! I thought. He wants to apologize. So I looked for the attachment that would have the “formal apology.” But there wasn’t any. I’d expected a written, detailed acknowledgment of the headaches, tensions, and complications that he had caused. What I got was those two words “I apologize”.

I knew that God was asking me to forgive him and turn the page. He had done his bit by asking for forgiveness, and the right thing to do was to extend that to him—but deep down, I felt a bit cheated. Couldn’t he have put a bit more effort into his apology?

But it wasn’t long before I needed to apologize to someone and didn’t know how to go about it. Getting into the reasons behind my actions would give the impression that I was creating a platform to justify myself and would make my apology sound insincere, plus I risked starting the controversy all over again. In the end, I copied the apology I’d received from my former coworker—and it was no less sincere for being simple.

It isn’t easy to ask for forgiveness. I think that humility and sincerity are key, to be genuinely concerned about the offended person’s needs and learn to listen to their hurts.

Anything wonderful can happen in the restored relationship. —Sally García [1]

He who cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass; for every man has need to be forgiven.—George Herbert (1593–1633)

[1] Activated Asking for Forgiveness